"This Ain't Real Soap"

I've been wanting to do some soap blogging for a while now, but I can never seem to find the time. I'm currently on day one of my ten day vacation, and let me say, not being able to go in my soap room and create is already driving me bonkers! So I thought now would be a perfect time to write my very first blog. 

Melt & Pour soap is very important to me. It was my first love in soapmaking. It unleashed a creative side of myself that I never knew existed. I was 44 years old when I discovered that I even had a creative talent. Hey, better late than never, right? So no matter what else I might decide to do in my creative future, I will never stop making melt & pour soap.

As a soapmaker it always makes me very sad when I hear about someone's work being criticized or underrated. But unfortunately, it happens, more often than a lot of us probably realize. The very first time it happened to me was at my first craft event. I was still a fairly new soapmaker at the time. I wanted to share a couple of my experiences with you to tell you how I handled those situations, and hopefully help you if it ever happens to you.

“This Ain’t Real Soap”

Inspired by Actual Events

by Jennifer Cooper

Scenario One: The average person who just doesn’t know better.

You’re at your very first craft event. You’ve been preparing for this moment for what seems like forever. You’ve spent months experimenting with different soap bases, trying out different fragrances and colors. You have 20 bars of soap scattered all around your shower stall where you’ve tested out your new creations. You’ve given out just as many to your family and friends to try as well. You finally feel like you are ready to start getting your product out to the general public. So here you are. You’re nervous, but ready. You’ve got your display set up just the way you want it. The wonderful fragrances of your beautifully designed soaps are starting to fill the air as people begin making their way through the aisles. A few pause to see what all the smell is about, taking in a few extra whiffs before inching their way over to your table to take a closer look. You couldn’t be happier—the day is starting off nicely with pleasant conversations about your lovely creations, and the sales are slowly starting to flow. You can’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

As you’re bagging up an order, someone walks up and says.....“Is this cold process soap?” 

Cringing.....not because there's anything wrong with the question being asked.....but cringing because you've already heard some of the horror stories from fellow MP makers about how their soap was "criticized" for not being cold process.                                                               

You'd already thought about what you would say if ever asked this question or something similar, but when it's actually happening, all those factual and informative answers you practiced in your head completely vanish. You smile and walk over.

“Hello. This is my honey-scented goat milk soap. Would you like to smell it?”

“Is this cold process soap? It doesn’t look like cold process soap..”

“No ma’am, this is a glycerin based soap made with real goat milk and many of the same ingredients used to make cold process soap, such as coconut oil, palm oil, and even sodium hydroxide.”

“Well, this ain’t real soap!” 

~

Scenario Two: The fellow soapmaker who should know better.

Months later, you’re all set up at a different craft event. Sales have slowly increased since your first event. You've improved your booth setup and even spiced it up a bit with a few complimentary decorations. You're smiling from ear to ear because a lady just stopped by your booth to pick up another bar of oatmeal, milk & honey soap that she had bought the week before....because she liked it so much and wanted her sister to try it. HOORAY.....A repeat customer! Your day is starting off good.

A lady walks over and glares at your soap display with an obvious disapproving look on her face.

“I make soap. This is melt & pour."

She then turns and walks off with an ever-so-subtle strut and nose slightly tilted upward.

~

I want to say that I hope none of you have experienced either scenario, but unfortunately, it’s likely that many of you have, or at least something similar. And even though we are confident in the products we make, and know they are good quality, let’s be honest and real....We are human and these scenarios, in the moment, have likely left us feeling hurt, uncomfortable, and maybe even slightly embarrassed.

So, let’s start with scenario one, the misinformed person who doesn’t know better.

Well one thing’s for sure, even though this person may not mean any harm, it’s just not nice to say things like that, but people do, and when it happens to us we just need to handle ourselves with the utmost class. My #1 advice is to never try to argue with a person over this matter. It could draw negative attention to your table, and you certainly don’t want that. I personally would give a factual, straight-to-the-point, yet simple response, something similar to the above response I gave when this happened to me. Let the customer know that it is a high-quality base straight from your wholesale supplier and that it contains many of the same ingredients used to make cold process soap. No detergents (assuming you're using detergent-free) and no harsh chemicals like you find in many store-bought soaps.

You will likely be able to tell which way the person is leaning at this point. Some people may be truly interested in learning more because they were just simply misinformed (and were never purposely trying to be rude) and are open to hearing the facts. They may even ask you more questions, and that would be your opportunity to start naming all the benefits your soap offers and even why you love making melt and pour soap.

Others may have their mind made up already, and likely nothing you say is going to change it, so don’t spend a lot of time trying to convince someone that your soap is actually soap because you’re probably not going to convince those people no matter what. End the contact quickly but respectfully so you can move on to other people who do want to buy your soap. Hand them your business card and tell them you’d love for them to check out your website (or social media site) so they can read more about your products and the ingredients.

Move on and don’t let it shatter your confidence. You are not going to please everyone. None of us can.

Now, let’s move on to the fellow soapmaker who should know better.

As both a melt & pour and cold process soapmaker, I have zero tolerance for improper, negative behavior from other soapmakers.

When the above scenario happened to me, there really wasn’t an opportunity for me to react or say much because she immediately turned and walked away. I told her to have a nice day as she walked off, and although I felt instant anger by the implication in her words, I feel that my “have a nice day” response was the best way I could’ve handled that particular scenario.

Now, if you encounter a situation where a soapmaker tries to engage in an argument or criticism about your product/technique, I recommend the following response:

“I am confident in my products and their quality, and I wish you the best.”

That’s really all the time, space, and breath they deserve from you. Again, they should know better!

~

Most of my interactions with fellow soapmakers have been positive, and some interactions have even led to friendships. I’m so thankful to be part of a community where we can share our creativity with one another and support one another. That’s why it’s so disheartening when I do encounter the occasional rude critic. We should build each other up, not tear one another down.

Remember, you never know someone’s story. You never know what’s going on in their life, or why they’re even making soap. Maybe they’ve been making soap for years, and your mockery makes them question the last five years. Or maybe they’re a new soapmaker, and they took on this new craft to try to bring some joy and contentment into their life after suffering a traumatic or life-changing event.

Maybe cutting up that block of soap and experimenting with swirls and layers is the only thing that takes them away from everything they’ve been dealing with.

That jab, whether subtle or blunt, can do more harm than people even realize.

But we can’t control what other people choose to say or do, so what I want to say to anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of this type of nonsense is this:

Hold your head up high and proudly, my friends. You are not alone. Never let someone else's words or actions make you doubt yourself or stop you from doing what you love. Continue to believe in yourself, your talent, your vision, and your hard work. I believe in you too, and I’m rooting for you every step of the way.